What if a guy is selfish and thinks only of himself?
Making a person stop being selfish is not easy. But, if you have to spend a lot of time with him or live together, then you need to fight with it. It could be a good acquaintance, your friend, or your boyfriend is an egotist in a relationship. Then it really is a lot of inconvenience.
If the person does not pay enough attention to you, is selfish in bed or in communication, then you need to figure out how you can deal with it. There are many ways you can do if your boyfriend is an egotist in a relationship. You can have an open conversation with him about his pride. Try to avoid and not notice his selfishness, or to part at all. And also use other tactics, which we will talk about later.
1. Talk to him
I know how hard it is when your boyfriend is selfish in a relationship. He may not even be aware of his selfish behavior. Some people inflate their egos too much and raise their level of arrogance without even noticing it. They do not understand how their indifferent behavior affects loved ones. This is why your first attempt at getting your boyfriend to stop being selfish should be in a calm conversation. Make him empathize with your feelings by talking about how his behavior makes you sad. If a guy really loves and cares, then he should hear his girlfriend.
2. Keep your emotions in check
The biggest obstacle you will face when dealing with an arrogant person is their selfishness. You can never defeat his selfish behavior if your emotions flare up in the first conversation. If it comes down to it, then your boyfriend will stay true to himself and his personality. Try to keep your emotions in check. Keep telling yourself to stay calm. Maintaining this level will allow you to manage the conversation and find a joint way out of the situation.
3. Give specific examples of his pride
If it so happens that your boyfriend is selfish in a relationship, then he will not understand this until you indicate specific actions. Take notes ahead of time and use specific examples to show him how painful it is for you. For example, point out that most of the dates were in places that only he liked. Talk about the fact that he wants you to be free from school or work whenever he needs to. Providing concrete examples of selfishness will really help you understand the heart of the problem.
4. Do not give an ultimatum if you are not ready to part.
Making demands is a common mistake most people make when facing relationship problems. As a result, this leads to unpleasant consequences in the form of quarrels, partings and divorces. Suppose you tell a guy that you will break up with him if he doesn’t stop being selfish. And he will continue to “bend his line.” Most of the time, girls don’t have the courage to leave their man. Therefore, if his selfish behavior has not upset you to the point that you are ready to drop everything and leave, do not make such statements.
5. Spend more time with your friends together
Let him see that you are getting respect from your friends and how they treat you well. This behavior of your acquaintances showing love and care will positively affect your boyfriend. If he understands and accepts this hint, then your relationship will begin to improve.
6. Show what feelings are present between other couples.
When he sees true love and deep respect from other couples, it will open his eyes and show how a guy should treat a girl. Let him see the man letting his girlfriend end the conversation without interrupting her. What a sense of respect he shows to her. How he behaves like a gentleman. If a guy really loves you, seeing this other man’s behavior will make him think about his arrogance.
7. Don’t be afraid to say no
The selfish guy usually takes the girl with him whenever he wants. And if you suggest going to a gourmet restaurant or a theater, for example, to watch a performance, then he will have a number of excuses and excuses. Give him a taste of his own behavior by saying no to his suggestion to go somewhere. If he asks why, just say that you are not in the mood to go where he wants to go.
8. Show that you are offended.
Stop being a fun person all the time and please your boyfriend in everything. Show that you don’t like his behavior and that it upsets you a lot. A guy shouldn’t be indifferent if his girlfriend is suffering. When he comes and asks what is bothering you, you can say the following: “It’s okay. I just don’t feel good when you don’t give me any importance. It seems to me that I am not getting priority in our relationship. This is what worries me and makes me sad. I want to feel loved. To have my boyfriend spoil me from time to time. It’s not that hard, is it? ” Be vague, but don’t get personal. If he really wants you to be happy, he will calm you down and try to change his behavior.
9. Don’t answer all of a guy’s calls
If your attempts to have a conversation with him are failing, it might be time to try some tough tactics to get your selfish boyfriend to realize his mistake. Stop answering some of his calls and text messages. Let him get a little nervous. He will notice this behavior and ask why you are not available. Use this tactic to point out his selfish behavior. Say that you didn’t pick up the phone because you were hurt. For example: “I didn’t pick up the phone because I was mad at you for being so selfish on our date yesterday.”
10. Use sex rejection
The next time your selfish man tries to snuggle against you, repel him with a light push. Say that you just don’t feel like it. Let him comfort you with his warm embrace, but nothing else, including sex. This behavior will send him a certain signal. He will understand that his selfish demeanor has had a negative impact on your relationship. And he will begin to act differently if he wants to change everything.
11. Give him time
Selfishness is a personality trait. It cannot be turned on or off with the switch. If it happens that your boyfriend is an egotist in a relationship, don’t expect him to stop being that way right away. This is not an easy way. And until he sorted out with his ego, it may take a long time. Wait at least a couple of months, and then you will begin to notice changes.
12. Ask someone to talk to your boyfriend
It’s not a good idea to involve a third party in your relationship, though. But if his selfish behavior pushes you to a tipping point, then ask your mutual friend or acquaintance to talk to him. It is likely that your boyfriend will feel offended if you tell the other person about it. Only take this step if his arrogance is out of your control and you can go to any lengths to keep the relationship going.
13. Break up if he refuses to change
You will have to do this if your selfish boyfriend is not aware of his mistakes and continues to make them. This decision is not straightforward and you will have to think about many factors, including the following:
- How long do you meet?
- What’s your relationship like?
- Has your boyfriend’s selfishness reached an unbearable point?
- Are you sure there is no other way to fix this situation?
- Can you cope with grief after breaking up?
Think about all of this before you end the relationship. If it is destiny that your boyfriend is an egoist in a relationship. You have to cry and worry a lot about his behavior. So the time has come for major changes.