What if a man is a mistress but he doesn’t want to go to her?

telwoman | April 21, 2021 | relations

The worst nightmare for any married woman is the situation when her husband loves another, but does not leave. He returns home from his passion and leaves again to her, does not rush in the evenings after work, gives her gifts and devotes all his free time to her. With her, he spends pleasant minutes, and in the bosom of the family carries all the negativity and pours irritation on his wife.

All these depressing thoughts occupy the head of a woman who knows that her life partner has fallen in love with another. Now nothing matters to her – not her own life, not a child, not a hobby, not a job. The world has split into thousands of fragments, and the chosen one who no longer loves her becomes its center.

Gradually, everything goes even further and the snowball becomes an avalanche: children without parental attention grab twos, disband, begin to communicate with bad companies, run away from home; at work, there are only shoals, bonuses are no longer paid, the boss expresses dissatisfaction, dismissal looms on the horizon.

The representative of the fair sex is disturbed by sleep and all night long she cries into the pillow. She stops caring for herself and in a short time becomes overgrown with a bunch of problems. At this stage, most young ladies fall into a depressive state, which cannot be dealt with without a psychotherapist.

All this can be avoided if you behave correctly in such a situation. It is possible that things are not so bad and that this is just a passing hobby, and not a deep feeling. In this case, you can forgive the traitor and save the family. Or you should realize that with this person you are not on the way and you need to let him go. But you need to understand that parting is not the end of life. This is one of the periods in life that must be experienced with dignity.

Portrait of a traitorous husband

How to understand that a husband has fallen in love with another woman? A vigilant spouse will note such changes in the faithful:

he began to take a closer look at his appearance, began to play sports, renewed his wardrobe, changed his hairstyle, gave preference to a new perfume;
the spouse has ceased to show initiative in sex;
the beloved constantly carries a phone with him, goes to another room to answer the call;
he set passwords on his phone and laptop;
the life partner began to stay late at work, and on the way home he often gets stuck in traffic jams;
the partner returns home a little under the direction;
things of the chosen one began to smell “differently”;
his attitude towards his wife has changed: some men begin to pay more attention, others, on the contrary, show irritation, and still others ignore the presence of his wife altogether.

If the woman did not see any changes in her husband, then there is nothing surprising that he began to look for love on the side: such inattention pushes men to look for a more caring passion. No matter how many years the spouses have lived together, one cannot deprive a loved one of attention. Indifference can destroy even the strongest union.

If the girl is familiar with the mistress of her faithful, then she will note the following changes in behavior:

in the presence of a lovemaker, the spouse behaves unnaturally, gets nervous;
if a passion or friends are nearby, a man begins to brag about his heroic deeds, financial stability or career;
if the chosen one is restrained in character, then in communication with a new lover he may become more liberated, or, on the contrary, the merry fellow unexpectedly becomes a modest one;
the spouse reacts painfully to criticism from the passion and to news about her men;
the husband willingly helps his sweetheart, solves her problems, takes her on business;
he provides non-verbal signs of attention – makes eye contact, turns to her with his whole body.

Why did the husband fall in love with another?

And although everyone knows the statement that men are polygamous, inherently they are quite lazy creatures. If the representative of the stronger sex is satisfied with everything, he will be too lazy to look for a new darling, build relationships with her, spend time and money in order to win her. If the faithful decided to have an affair on the side, then there are serious problems in the family. Well, when a man loves another woman, and not just having fun, then the reasons for this must be very serious.

Among these reasons, the following are most often distinguished:

Dissatisfaction with the appearance of the spouse. Many men believe that their partner’s appearance is a kind of calling card. Therefore, when the wife stops caring for herself, he goes in search of the best candidate for the role of wife.
Dissatisfaction with the way the wife runs the household. Most men are annoyed by dirty dishes, a meager menu, and non-ironed linen. Therefore, it is very important that the hostess maintains cleanliness in the house, and there is always hot and tasty food on the stove.
Dissatisfaction with the financial situation and living conditions. Lack of money in the family, disorder, lack of their own housing destroyed more than one family. A man can be bothered by living with his parents and the resulting scandals. Therefore, he is looking for a “safe haven” on the side.
Dissatisfaction with intimate life. If the spouse daily finds excuses to refuse sexual intimacy, then the husband will quickly arrange his sex life on the side. A high-quality sex life is one of the most important male needs, and the quality of intimate relationships plays an important role.

Why doesn’t he leave

It happens that the husband does not hide his relationship on the side and love for another woman, but do not rush to leave the family. This can happen for a number of reasons:

does not want to part with children;
the spouse does not want to give up the usual way, especially if he is completely satisfied with the well-established way of life;
he has nowhere to live with a new passion;
he fell in love with a married young lady who does not plan to break up her family;
not so much in love with sweetheart, since he is in no hurry to solve all the problems that prevent a happy reunion.

However, the reasons can be completely different, very diverse and individual for each individual man.

Whatever the reason, the wife needs to think about whether she agrees to continue living with her husband. Undoubtedly, the love triangle exhausts all its participants and has a negative effect on the nervous system. And the tense atmosphere in the family will leave a negative imprint on children.

Options for developing relationships while living together

In fact, there are not so many options:

A husband in love can rush between two women for a long time, living under the same roof with his wife and regularly meeting with his beloved woman. If his feelings for his mistress are strong, then he can file for divorce. If this is a simple hobby, then a man will not destroy his marriage. Another question is whether the wife will agree to such a relationship format.
The spouse will go to his beloved, especially if there are no joint children in the family. It makes no sense to keep it in this case. Also, you should not forgive him and continue living together if he wants to return. In a couple, the tension from betrayal and betrayal will forever remain.
The faithful will part with another woman and return to the family nest. Whether to accept the prodigal husband back is up to the woman. It is necessary to clearly realize that what happened will affect further relationships in the family. On a subconscious level, she will look for signs of a new betrayal.