When meeting a new person, many people try to present themselves correctly and show their best side. This may sound harsh, but the truth is, we want to appear better than we really are. We show our best qualities, hoping to arouse interest in a person. But many girls have a problem and they do not know what to do when their boyfriend offered to move to live with him. After all, then our true character, our shortcomings or other flaws are manifested.
Of course, in some cases, we can wear the mask of the perfect person to please people. But still, in most cases, try to be yourself so that in the future there are no situations that will not be compatible with your original image.
In a long-distance relationship, couples may not understand the true nature of their partner for a long time and seem ideal for each other. But when people see each other often, it becomes difficult for them to hide their flaws. After all, the reality is that it is difficult for us to constantly hide our true self, and at this moment people begin to truly recognize each other.
When I talk about this to other girls whom the guy offered to move to live with him, I get the answer: “But if I move, he will see all my shortcomings and will not want to marry me.” This may indeed be true. If you move in with a man who has not been married, then it will be difficult for you with him. So don’t be in a hurry, otherwise getting along too quickly can be a problem. Get to know the person better, spend more time with them, and communicate frankly on a variety of topics. And after you feel that you have a lot in common, you are interested in each other, appreciate and respect your partner, then you can think about living together.
Why couples make mistakes:
- They are too young and do not realize the seriousness of living together;
- They don’t get along with their parents;
- They believe that living together will make their relationship stronger;
- They think that living together will solve their problems.
Living together can be useful in cases where you want to find out whether a person is right for you for later life or not. This can be called a trial period for a long-term and serious relationship. It often happens that this can be determined without cohabitation. It will be very good if you determine early on in the relationship that the person is not suitable for you. You will save your time and your senses.
How to make sure you are ready to live together
This cannot happen immediately after meeting and first dates. You should consider this when a really strong relationship is established between you. If your boyfriend offered to move in with him after a few dates, explain that this is a serious step for you and you need to make sure that you know each other well. If he begins to argue and insist on his decision, then it is better not to continue the relationship with him, since this will not lead to a good result.
Many girls hope that if they agree to live with their partner, then an offer to marry will follow. But it often happens quite differently. If there was no talk of a wedding between you before, then it is too early to think about it.
Instead of living together, try to spend more time together. If your partner is on vacation, try to free yourself from work to be with him. The more you are together, the better you will understand his character and attitude towards you.
If you accepted your partner’s offer of cohabitation, then talk openly about everything. Decide how long you plan to live together, why you are doing it, who will pay rent or other expenses. These points will help clarify the seriousness of your partner’s intentions and will help you get rid of future fights and disagreements.
If your values don’t match, don’t do it.
You don’t have to make drama and make excuses to your partner. You have to do what your soul and heart wants you to do. Try to listen to yourself more. Nobody should influence you and only you should make a decision. Try to do this consciously and not give in to emotions. Be honest with your partner and have frank conversations with them more often.
I know many girls who take risks and enter into cohabitation with an unfamiliar person. They argue that in life you need to make spontaneous decisions in order to quickly look at the result. But in relationships, such actions may not always be justified. I think that if your boyfriend offered to move in with him, then you don’t need to immediately accept his offer. Approach this question thoughtfully and draw conclusions based only on your feelings and desires.
In cohabitation, it is very important that you both want to be together, but be sure to find out if this person is right for you or not. Take this as a major step in your life before getting married. And then, you can avoid many mistakes.