When a woman gets married, she wants to be loved, build a family nest, give birth and raise children. But sometimes it happens that just yesterday a gentle and affectionate person today turns out to be a real tyrant, who is expressed exclusively in abuse. The spouse feels humiliated, looks for shortcomings in himself in order to get rid of them, silently swallows grievances, but this is no use.
Why the husband insults and humiliates his wife
Women often wonder why the husband screams and insults. Psychologists say that women are not to blame for this. The point is in the processes taking place in the depths of the male psyche. Sometimes the situation can be corrected by love or by defending your own rights. But sometimes drastic measures are required, and the help of a family analyst will not hurt here.
Aggressive behavior can occur under different circumstances:
- under the influence of alcoholic beverages or drugs;
- when a married couple is alone;
- for sobriety;
- in front of strangers or your own children.
In psychology, there are 7 main reasons why the head of the family is insulting to his chosen one:
- This behavior pattern is normal for him. The man grew up in a family in which there were constant conflicts. He saw how his father offend his mother. He just doesn’t know that he can behave differently.
- Lowered self-esteem and feelings of inferiority. The spouse is notorious, jealous, envious, so he tries to convince his soul mate that she is ugly and, to put it mildly, not smart. So he puts her on one step next to him, which makes him feel better.
- He is having a difficult period in his life. The faithful fears that if he tells about his experiences, he will fall in the eyes of his passion. Negativity accumulates and pours out into rudeness.
- The answer to the question of why a husband insults his wife is that there is no more love. Psychologists believe that if he constantly screams, treats humiliatingly and does not show concern, then most likely the tender feelings have died out. It is already difficult to change the situation here, it all depends on the personal qualities of the man.
- Comparison of a spouse with a former passion. It is important to understand that you are not really bad, and everything said is directly his subjective assessment and nothing more.
- Sometimes aggression from the beloved can be caused by the provocations of the partner. For example, she puts the interests of others, forgetting about the interests of her beloved. Or the wife is abusing alcohol, wears provocative clothes, or speaks badly about the man’s parents.
- The husband cannot achieve what he wants in other ways.
How to behave if your husband insults
Before making a decision, you need to understand for yourself:
- The reason for rude behavior.
- Is there respect, love in the relationship and will it be better without it?
- How frequent are conflict situations.
- Does the husband have complexes and
- does he copy the model of behavior?
- Whether the insults are mutual.
- In what state are insults pouring from the mouth of the faithful: in a sober or drunken state.
Can love help?
If the spouses love each other, and the woman knows exactly what causes her lover’s aggression, experts advise to do as follows:
- Answer good for evil. In response to hurtful words, show affection so that he was ashamed to show attacks. Let’s repeat this behavior pattern several times, the husband will stop behaving like a boor.
- In those moments when insults are pouring in, sincerely tell your beloved that it hurts you to hear such things from the most dear person in the world.
- Don’t do anything negative. Of course, if these actions are not vital.
- Try to present information correctly. For example, you have been promoted. Telling about this, tell me that only next to such a wonderful person you were able to achieve such heights.
- Create a comfortable environment for your lover, justifying your actions by the fact that you want him to be happy with you.
- Psychologists advise to be tactful when talking about his habits, tastes and surroundings.
How to behave if your husband humiliates
Even if you can’t file for divorce, leave for a couple of weeks to get him scared. During this time, cut off all contacts and do not answer calls. Then give him a chance, but be strict. The faithful should understand that you prefer a quiet life without insults. Now the safety of your family depends only on his desire to change. If he sincerely changes, there is no need to reproach him with the past, it is better to support his aspiration.
In moments of negative expression, do not try to understand why the husband is rude to his wife. Experts recommend just going for a walk with children. When your loved one calms down, calmly explain to him that you do not take what was said personally, that you understand how difficult it is for him and want to help him. But if this behavior is repeated, then your family will most likely fall apart.
Be sure to have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband, and voice a few questions. The conversation should take place without strangers, but in a crowded place to avoid aggressive behavior.