What if the husband is a tyrant and despot: signs of how to get away from him?
Many believe that a tyrant in a family is a person who beats up his other half, children, relatives. Alas, not quite so. Constant reproaches and remarks about and without – the same tyranny. For a certain period of time we do not attach the seriousness of the situation, perhaps we laugh it off in response, but the limit of patience will come sooner or later. What if the husband is a tyrant?
Tyranny can take on a harmless appearance, mostly – disguise itself under whims, whims. But the fact remains: by your will or not, submission to your husband will gradually come. It goes without saying that it is better to suppress attacks on privacy and freedom “at the embryonic stage.”
A few points to recognize the tyrant in your own husband
Tyranny is the compulsion to fulfill the will of another person, and therefore you should think about if the husband:
- All the time he grumbles and criticizes your actions: “Again the cutlets are too salty”, “You did something wrong again”. This is manipulation in the form of value coercion that removes your self-esteem.
- Often says: “I care about you, so it will be better for you.” Consequently, submission is present, but in a latent form. This veiled tyranny can last for many years.
- Strongly against you working in a specific position or in a specific place, while not supporting your desire with clear facts, just refusing: “I don’t want this.”
- Does not allow to apply decorative cosmetics, or wear a bright dress.
- He is jealous of literally every pillar.
- He suppresses meetings with close relatives and girlfriends, or he himself indicates with whom to be friends, and from whom to stay away.
Imposes his own opinion, behavior model, sphere of interests, since he considers them truly true.
Applies physical force against you. In order for your husband to raise his hand, even a trifle is enough, for example, an incorrectly ironed shirt. If it came to this at least once, it is unlikely that it will happen again. Such violence cannot be forgiven and it is better to file for divorce.
Of course, before marriage and living together, few men show their true nature.
Home portrait of a despot husband
There are a number of reasons that can lead a husband to assert himself by limiting his wife’s freedom of action. Here is some of them:
- high position in society;
- financial benefits;
- low self-esteem;
- excessive love and so on.
The general portrait of a domestic tyrant is as follows: low self-esteem, which he can increase by superiority over weaker morally or physically people (wife, children, mother). Most likely, the husband-despot himself is aware of the incorrectness of his behavior, but does not want to change himself or does not know how.
Despotism is often the result of traditions that are firmly entrenched in society. For example, the belief that only the husband has the right to make decisions, and the woman should obey and follow his instructions.
For all the horror that the victim of a tyrant takes upon himself, in many cases she herself can provoke him to negative behavior, since she enjoys humiliation and scourging, akin to a masochist.
Rules of conduct with a tyrant husband
- Never lower your head and do not obey your husband who tries to severely restrict your freedom, humiliates your dignity. Don’t forget, the best defense is offense!
- Remember your children. Any quarrels, scandals and assault in front of their eyes in the future may affect their behavior, since children in many ways even unconsciously copy their parents both in the role of a despot and a victim.
- If your husband says that you are doing poorly at home, stop doing them. Let him decide how he likes best and does it without your help.
- Improve your self-esteem, look after your appearance, and develop intellectually. Firstly, you will be confident in yourself, and secondly, once again make your husband look after you.
Try to consult a psychologist, although this is not a common help, as in many countries, but it is very effective.
- If you feel that your tyrant husband constantly humiliates you by his actions, your life has turned into a continuous nightmare, and any methods to fix anything in a relationship do not help, run from him as far as possible and start a new life, because you have one !