Unfortunately, a selfish husband in a family these days is far from uncommon. And living with such a person is really not easy. But why does the spouse become selfish, and how can we change this situation? In this article, I’ll go over some of the typical characteristics of a selfish partner, and share a couple of actionable tips for how you should act in this situation.
Signs of a Selfish Husband
1. He never helps with household chores
In this case, you do almost everything around the house. Prepare food, wash dishes, take out the trash, clean the apartment, and do all the other tasks around the house. While your spouse is lying on the couch, watching TV or playing video games. If so, then this selfish husband simply doesn’t respect you when he turns a blind eye to how you do all the work. Don’t let this situation get out of hand. Talk to him about it. Because if you keep silent, nothing will change.
2. Your partner expects sex even when you are not in the mood
What happens between you if you ignore your husband’s wishes in bed when you are not in the mood for it? Will he try to turn you on? Perhaps he will be angry and annoyed, or will he just back down? In the event that you are very tired, irritated, sad, depressed, or simply not in the mood for physical intimacy, then your husband should show understanding. And not to expect or demand sex, just because he wants it.
3. He throws things around and makes a mess all over the place.
In the event that the spouse does not clean up after himself, constantly leaves clothes on the bed, in anticipation of the fact that you will clean everything, then he is showing selfishness. Although, if the man in your family is the sole breadwinner, then it may be acceptable for him to expect some pampering after a hard day at work. But if he does it regularly, even when he is on the weekend. Then his selfishness reaches unacceptable heights.
4. He is not interested in your career and work.
In the event that you work hard, have career goals and big ambitions, then your husband should support your initiatives. After all, if a woman has a supportive partner nearby, then she will be able to better cope with multitasking and responsibilities at work. But, if a selfish husband doesn’t care about your career and says something like, “Honey, you don’t have to work. I will provide for my family myself. ” Or “You’re not going to make much anyway, so it’s not worth it.” In this case, remind him that this behavior will negatively affect the marriage and your relationship.
5. He gets lazy
Everyone needs to get enough rest, but there is a fine line between extended rest and laziness. Life is a constant race, and a loving partner needs to support the other person by helping with daily chores. And just like you are expected to be a good wife and help your spouse in everyday life. He should also be a good husband and help you. But if you hear things like “I’ll do it later,” “Not now,” “Can’t you see that I’m resting?” Or: “Please stop nagging me!” every time you just ask him to get up and help, then he has become a selfish and lazy person.
6. He ignores your desires.
Let’s say you and your loved one are going out to dinner at a restaurant, or planning a weekend getaway together. As a result, where exactly are you going? The place you wanted, or your husband? Or maybe you went where you both want? Ideally, you should stay in a place that seems attractive to both of you. You should not go with your spouse only to his favorite places, while not having the right to vote. Therefore, if he does not take into account your desires, then he is showing excessive selfishness.
7. All purchases in your family are his choice.
Starting from various little things around the house, ending with expensive purchases and repairs that you do. How many of you make the decisive decision on these purchases? You must have an equal right to vote in all decisions that affect you and your family. Big purchases can only be enjoyed when both partners have played an equal role in them. But if your selfish husband only buys what he wants, then you have no equality in the family.
8. Your spouse asks you to cut costs, but does not.
Of course, it is important for us to properly manage the family budget. Keep track of your expenses and save on large purchases. But it is equally important that these cost cuts apply to both partners in a marriage. Your husband should not be selfish and ask you to cut costs as long as he leaves all the money at the bar. And if he gives you rebuttals like, “I am the one who makes money. I have to make financial decisions. ” Then just remind him of the cost of babysitting your children full time. After all, you are also contributing to the family.
9. Your social life revolves exclusively around your spouse’s friends
The social life of a married couple should be distributed among several social circles. Including your family, work colleagues, your husband’s friends, and yours. What is the percentage of your social life as a married couple? Is it equally balanced? Or is it only your selfish husband who decides which people you should date and associate with?
There may be reasons why your partner avoids meeting friends or people you like. But if his whims and fantasies are groundless. Then you have to remind him how selfish he is in denying you social life.
10. He never takes the initiative to offer help or do something for you.
This article is about how a selfish husband refuses to help you or contribute equally to your family life. But selfishness stems from something much deeper, and goes beyond simply agreeing to do homework. Therefore, just as expected of you, you will be sweet and romantic. Your husband should do everything to make you feel loved.
It doesn’t matter if it’s as small as buying your favorite cake on the way home, putting the kids to bed, accidentally kissing, or making a declaration of love. Your husband should take the initiative in relationships and family life from time to time. And do everything so that both of you are happy with this marriage.
What if a man is an egoist in a relationship?
In fact, if a man does not show selfishness too often, then his behavior is absolutely natural. Because 90% of men behave this way. But in the event that his egoism goes beyond what is permissible, then you need to act. Unless, of course, you want to maintain a relationship with this person.
First of all, you will need to be patient, willing and confident in your abilities. Because it is very difficult to change a person. And in some situations it is almost impossible. In the event that your spouse shows slight selfishness. Then you can influence him with calm conversations and conversations. And if he really loves and appreciates you, he will listen to your requests and desires.
But, if your selfish husband is showing excessive selfishness, then you need to use a different tactic. First, there is no need to make quarrels and scandals. You will not achieve anything by this. It will be much better if you treat him with kindness, speak flattering words. And also in a calm tone to say that you cannot do without his help. And when he helps you, then praise him for it, and thank him with something.