The realization that you will never become a mother or father is really difficult. For many men and women, living without children is not a choice, and when faced with such a challenge, the ability to live a happy and fulfilling life can seem like an overwhelming task. But no matter what situation you are in, it is important not to give up hope, and continue to live on. And we will try to help you with this.
Why do more and more people choose not to have children?
1. Financial reasons
Money problems and financial instability are one of the main reasons why people choose to live without children. Also, difficulties associated with housing can be attributed here, since most young couples are not able to buy an apartment at their age. Young people first strive to build a career, and only then think about children and a full-fledged family.
2. There is no suitable partner
Difficulties with character, different views on life, a reclusive lifestyle – all these can be the reasons that people do not find a suitable partner to start a family. They prefer to live alone or in a small circle of friends. Although, in the modern world there are ways and means to conceive children without a partner, but not everyone agrees to such a step.
3. Some people just don’t want children.
Other people just don’t want to have children. I have a friend who says that she does not feel the need to explain the reasons for the absence of children. “I just don’t want kids at all. I don’t want to waste time, money and energy on this. My life is more important to me. ” It certainly looks selfish. But we are not here to judge anyone.
It can be difficult for a woman to live without children.
It is not easy for a woman to live a childless life. Many different questions are poured on her, because many people cannot believe that a woman does not want to have a child. In addition, it is assumed that the desire for motherhood is programmed in every woman. That they have an innate maternal instinct, which is especially felt when a woman is near babies or during pregnancy. But there are a growing number of women for whom this is not the case. They just do not feel like a mother in any way, even with other children. And in fact, there is no scientific evidence that the maternal instinct exists.
Two of the most powerful women in politics, Theresa May and Angela Merkel, also have no children. They try not to comment on their personal lives. But as their inner circle says, it’s all about their over-employment and career ambitions. But for the media, this is not a significant reason, and they regularly turn their attention to the inferior lives of these famous personalities.
No need to judge men and women who have no children
We need to change attitudes towards men and women who do not have children. Jody Day, author of Life Waiting, advocates for the inclusion of discussions on this topic in sex education curricula in schools. He wants to change attitudes and attitudes towards adults who live a life without children. So that they are not considered inferior members of society, selfish loners, and so on.
Let’s stop talking about women, or about men without children, as selfish and incomplete people. Acknowledging such a life is not always a personal choice of a person. Women and men without children should feel comfortable in society. They should be able to come to terms with another life if they need to. And lead a fulfilling life, free of judgment and contempt.
What to do if you do not want or are unable to have children
1. Find your way
Infertility, or any circumstance that leads to childlessness, can cause many negative feelings and emotions in you. In this situation, many psychologists recommend more communication and interaction with other people. Understanding that you are not alone and that there are people around you who are ready to help and support you is key, and it will be even better if you find people with similar problems. Because the realization that not only you are faced with such a problem, and the ability to communicate with people who understand and support you, will be a powerful incentive to maintain a positive attitude in life.
Communication is the key to most of life’s problems and yours in particular. And while it may not be easy to talk about what you’ve been through and be ashamed of it. But connecting with people going through the same experience will be an invaluable gift for you. So find a place where you can express your deepest fears, feelings and worries.
2. Focus on what you can control
Life without children is possible if you find a different meaning in life. I have a friend who is faced with the problem of infertility. She wanted to have children only from a loved one. But due to health problems, nothing came of it. She began to neglect other areas of her life that had previously brought her joy and happiness. As a result, she lost the meaning of life. When she turned to me for help, I first of all advised her to start playing sports and what previously brought her pleasure. After she again started to play sports and her hobbies, she renewed the desire to build a career. She also regained her passion for life, and new goals and plans in life appeared, and the problem of childlessness ceased to bother her.
3. Take care of yourself and your body
Taking care of yourself is one of the most important things you can do in this situation. Good nutrition, diet, and exercise can be a great way to regain control of yourself and your thoughts. Feel free to indulge yourself with good food. Go for walks more often, relax more in the fresh air, interact more with positive and cheerful people.
4. Time heals
I think you’ve all heard this phrase. And it really works. At first, it will be difficult for you to live with the idea that you will not have children, but over time, when you find a different meaning in life, you will think less about your problem. Then life without children will seem less bleak to you. Therefore, you need time, and as early as possible to become a busy person. And do what you really benefit from.
5. Find a person to whom you will give your love and care
This could be your romantic partner, relative, friend, or good acquaintance. Find someone you can have fun with. Try to live and enjoy with him. If this is your romantic partner, then enjoy each other’s company, start traveling, arrange romantic evenings. Consider getting a pet and take care of it. In general, find someone to whom you can give your love and care. Then you will understand that it is really possible to live a happy, fulfilling and purposeful life without children.