What if you hate your ex after a divorce?
Relationships in marriage can develop in different ways. Some people love partners with all their heart, and respect the object of their love, while for others, love and respect in marriage is of no value. Such people can break the union at any time and not particularly worry about this. I have had a similar relationship, and I can tell you for sure that no matter how angry or worried you are now about the breakup, hatred after the divorce will not help you in any way.
You will think that you have simply “wiped your feet.” That he or she has hurt you so much that you want to make them feel the same way. But don’t let yourself sink to their level. This will only make the situation worse. Commit to your values. You shouldn’t treat people badly, even though they did bad things to you. All you have to do is try to forget the failed relationship and continue living a fulfilling life.
What does hatred lead to?
When we hate a person, we give all our strength and emotions to this hatred. We constantly think of malicious and angry deeds for their actions. We think about how we can hurt our former partner, because he did so badly to us.
But all these negative thoughts do more harm to us than to them. Hatred after divorce makes us angry, negative, resentful, and alien, even to those who know and love us. Hate makes us who we are not. When you hate someone, you actually hate yourself, because of the fact that you allowed yourself to come close and live with such a bad person.
I am all too familiar with this feeling. And I know that by succumbing to it, you actually become the same object that you hate, “you fall into a pit that has no bottom.”
Therefore, be above all this, learn to restrain yourself and control your emotions. Show yourself in the first place that you are above all those bad deeds of your ex-spouse. You are not a small child, but an adult and self-sufficient person. If you start harming the other person, you will not feel better as a result, but will only make the situation worse. You will begin to show signs of vindictive behavior that negatively affects your love life.
How to deal with hate
1. Tell someone about your feelings
You need to be sure to beat the hatred after your divorce, before it makes your life worse. You can use several methods for this. First, tell someone you trust about your spouse’s behavior and how you feel right now. You just need to talk it out. This could be your neighbor, sister, mother, brother, or father. It doesn’t really matter who you talk to, the main thing is that you trust this person.
Share with him your experiences, tell how it hurts you because of what your spouse did. Tell us about the lies and deception in the relationship, if any. Ask them for support and a shoulder to cry. At times like these, it’s important to surround yourself with people who truly love and support us.
2. Try to forgive the person
No matter how angry and resentful you are, you need to try to find the strength in yourself to forgive this person. You must understand that we are all human and any of us can make a mistake. Therefore, if your ex-spouse has committed some nasty deed, do not hold grudge against him, forgive him.
After all, it is quite possible that he did it unconsciously, or because of his weakness. So forgive him. And who knows, maybe after that your relationship will become completely different, and the hatred after the divorce will pass once and for all.
3. Learn to control your thoughts and emotions
Whenever you are overcome by hatred and anger, your task is “not to throw wood into the fire.” This means not to switch to those negative thoughts and emotions that this hatred evokes. Your task is to learn how to translate your thoughts in a more positive direction.
Remember something good, look around. After all, you are surrounded by a wonderful world. Think better about how you will build your future life. Think about what prospects await you in the future, and what more good things lie ahead of you. Learn not to be in the negative, but to see the positive around you.
4. Do what you love to do
Another effective method of how to get rid of anger and hatred is our favorite activities. Do those things you love more often that you can fully immerse yourself in. Do the things that you like best and bring positive emotions.
It can be anything you want, playing sports, watching your favorite TV series, walking with friends, camping, traveling, and so on. Look for things that you can do for a long time. And concentrate your attention on them more. The more actively you do what you love, the more you immerse yourself in it, the faster your hatred will pass after a divorce.
5. Take this as a lesson
Tell yourself that this situation will make you a stronger and more experienced person as a result. Remember that any negative situation is also a lesson. It is impossible to strive for the best without knowing the worst. And when a person gets some experience in life, good or bad, in this way he and his soul develop. Therefore, draw a conclusion from this relationship, and move on with your head held high.
Life after divorce
Is there life after divorce? Well, it depends on you. If you allow yourself to “fall into this bottomless pit” called hatred, then life will seem like something terrible to you. There will be little good in your life. And over time, you will realize that you have no one else to blame but yourself.
Therefore, after the final divorce, find the strength to “shake off” all the anger and deception that your spouse tried to impose on you. Take time to remember that you are a strong person. Remember, you don’t have to hate anyone. Take time to spend more time with your friends, enjoy life and smile. Then “life will sparkle with new colors” and become that wonderful new place where you can find love again and live happily.