What is the right way to pause in a relationship?
A break in a relationship actually strengthens the bond between partners, but only if it is not long and both partners have discussed everything in advance. All healthy relationships need some distance from time to time in order to maintain excitement and anxiety. Only in this case we are talking about a deliberate decision to stay away from each other. And both partners must show a mutual desire to take this step so that there are no misunderstandings between them in the future.
What does a pause in a relationship mean?
A man and a woman need to understand that a temporary rest from each other is needed in order to rethink feelings or conflicts that have arisen. This does not mean that in the end they will need to part. A man and a woman should do this consciously, and the pause in the relationship should be planned in advance. In addition, you need to determine what specific problem you are trying to solve by taking a break from each other. Perhaps there was some kind of conflict between you, and you both need to cool down and rethink your words and actions. Therefore, at the moment, this physical freedom is necessary for both of you. A pause in a relationship also helps to solve some small everyday problems. But in the event that a serious conflict has occurred between you and you are not talking to each other, then the break will not help you in any way.
What is a relationship break for?
In most cases, people take a break in a relationship to observe their partner and see how he will behave during this period. But in this case, you need to understand that you are more focused on your partner. Because you yourself do not understand what you want from the relationship and how you need to develop them further. Secondly, a pause is taken in cases when a person wants to understand how to build a relationship further, because the partner opened up for him from an unexpected side. For example, he began to be unfaithful, and mistrust arose between them. A pause in a relationship can be a response to some kind of resentment from a partner. And of course, a pause in a relationship helps you make decisions about your future joint future.
How to take a break from a relationship
1. Decide on a goal
Be clear about the goal and discuss it with your partner. Why did you decide to take a break from each other? What exactly do you want to get from this? Do not make the decision to pause without proper reflection and when you are under the influence of emotions. Be honest with each other about what this break is really for. Consider this temporary rest as a moment to reflect carefully on your relationship, as well as self-criticism. Make sure the break is what you both really want. You need to take this decision very seriously and not take it lightly.
2. Determine the duration
You should definitely discuss the length of the break in your relationship. Most couples often neglect to discuss rest time limits from each other. But if these restrictions are not, then this pause can be prolonged and lead to a final separation.
3. Solve the issue with finances
You also need to discuss a financial issue. In the event that you shared some expenses, then discuss and agree on which of you will pay them. For example, rent for an apartment, utility bills, or any other cost.
4. Discuss when you will meet
You need to discuss how often or in what cases you will need to call, or meet to discuss any questions that have arisen. Or, if you have a child, you also need to decide with whom he will be during this period. In the event that he gets sick, who will look after him then? You also need to talk about when you need to make sure you stop your break. Discuss what you will say to friends, acquaintances, and family. So that there are no unnecessary conversations and rumors about problems in your relationship.
5. Keep in touch
A pause in a relationship should not prohibit a man and a woman from staying in touch with each other. So calling your partner once a week just to maintain intimacy and reassure the person may not be a bad idea.
6. Make an appointment and discuss your next steps
Plan a specific date for your meeting after the break. Write it down in your diary and remember it well. This is important to get the relationship back on track, or to get a proper closure and announce it is ending. Choose a quiet place where you can freely discuss your relationship. Alternatively, you can book a session with a therapist to help you better understand the situation. Remember that most of these breaks lead to breakups. Therefore, many psychologists recommend taking a break in the relationship for no more than a month. But if you have had a long and serious relationship, then this break should be shorter.
If you’ve made the decision to stay together, then make sure you close all problems and return to a relationship that will bring you joy and happiness. Never return to the destructive patterns that caused the break in the relationship. Both of you need to understand the benefits of this temporary rest.
Things to remember when deciding to take a break from each other
When you decide to take a break from each other, you need to understand that you risk breaking your relationship. This can cause your senses to cool off completely. It is also necessary to remember that temporary rest will not help solve the serious problems that have arisen between you. Therefore, before you pause, you need to think about whether you really need it? Or you need to resort to other methods to improve your relationship. But if you have already made a decision about temporary freedom, then approach it as correctly as possible.