What to do if the husband drinks: how to live with an alcoholic?
In our time, alcoholism can be called a real epidemic. He destroys destinies and families, causes irreparable harm to health. Drinking people are morally degraded, because their addiction does not allow them to improve and develop. Alcoholism causes many men to lose their jobs and sink into poverty.
The causes of alcoholism in men
It is wrong to believe that only mediocrities and losers can become addicted to this bad habit. Among the wealthy and successful men, including celebrities, there are many whose chances of getting drunk are very high. After all, the main cause of alcoholism is the emotional instability of a person, and not financial or social condition.
Psychologists identify the main factors that cause alcoholism in men:
- dissatisfaction with their profession, unloved work, inability to fully realize their skills and talents;
- family problems, failures in personal life;
- complexes and low self-esteem;
- lack of a solid inner core, weak character;
- idleness and despondency;
- genetic predisposition.
The husband drinks – what to do?
If a man drinks alcohol once a week, this is normal. But if he is looking for an excuse to drink without waiting for the weekend, this is already a wake-up call. At the same time, he constantly lies and gets out, justifying his behavior.
He can argue for this by stress at work, setbacks, fatigue, meetings with friends. Each time he justifies himself, not wanting to realize that he already has the initial stage of alcoholism. Spouses can solve this problem only together, but this requires the desire of both.
Many wives resort to a very popular method – coding. However, it does not fundamentally solve the problem. A person can stop drinking for a while, but sooner or later they will resume an unhealthy lifestyle again.
A man must voluntarily take the path of physical and spiritual healing, otherwise all attempts to save him will be in vain. Tantrums, threats, blackmail – these are not methods. They will only make the problem worse. If male alcoholism has not gone too far, women successfully use some methods of psychological pressure, for example:
- leave home, taking their children with them;
- threaten to file for divorce;
- stop cooking for the husband and cleaning the house;
- start a cold war with her husband or stop communicating altogether;
- throw tantrums and scandals;
- refuse to fulfill their conjugal duty.
Sometimes such techniques are effective, but only on condition that the man looks into the glass from time to time, breaking down and going into binges. But if he drinks every day, then such methods will not help.
Of course, pretending that everything is fine is also not an option. However, screaming and desperate actions will not correct the situation. In this case, a man will need care and support, as well as the help of narcologists and psychologists.
The husband drinks and does not want to be treated – what to do?
An alcoholic does not want to admit his illness, and, accordingly, get rid of it. If before he drank only for the mood, now he is constantly drawn to look into the glass, but he continues to count, everything is fine.
If the spouse persuades the man to undergo treatment, but he flatly refuses, you can resort to those “forbidden” methods mentioned above, namely:
- kick the spouse out of the house if the house belongs to the wife;
- scare with divorce, but promise to change his mind if he agrees to be treated;
- tell in detail about the harm to the body and possible terrible diseases;
- stop sharing bed with your husband;
- threaten to leave home, pick up the children and not allow them to communicate with the father.
If, after such tricks, a man takes up his mind – this will be the best option. But here everything depends on the scale of the problem itself. If a husband with an initial stage of alcoholism can still be re-educated, then a completely lost person can hardly be saved, so it is better to leave such a man.
Why do girls attract drinking grooms?
Often, the real reason that a spouse became an alcoholic lies with the woman herself. Therefore, first you should understand yourself, and only then reproach the man. Psychologists have identified several reasons why girls subconsciously attract male alcoholics:
Children’s complexes and low self-esteem (women who do not love themselves, involuntarily attract unworthy men, because they do not believe that they deserve better).
A bad example of a father (often girls who have seen alcoholism in the family seek to find a guy who is not similar to their father, although in words they can condemn such men).
Masculine qualities of character (sometimes strong and strong-willed women subconsciously choose for themselves insignificant and weak men in order to dominate them).
Gravitation towards creative people (sociable and funny guys are more attracted to girls, because they tell funny stories, joke, sing and play the guitar).
Alcoholism is a screaming problem of our time. If a woman realizes that her husband is an alcoholic, she needs to quickly assess the severity of the problem and plan further actions. It is necessary to answer the main question – is it worth saving the relationship with this man or is it better to break it off?