One morning, a woman wakes up with a clear awareness that she no longer loves her husband. Everything in his behavior causes irritation, sexual attraction has disappeared without a trace, and even the thought of intimacy is disgusting. Quarrels arise from scratch, and the thought does not give rest: “Is love really gone?”
Signs that marriage has become obsolete
- Lack of sex. If you are not having sex, the problem is obvious. It is sexual intimacy that distinguishes marital relations from any other. In a couple, there must be a place for physical contact: kisses, hugs, bed pleasures.
- You have nothing to talk about. If you do not want to share your problems and joys with your beloved one, think about it, do you want to talk to him at all? Lack of soulful conversation is an important sign that the relationship is about to end.
- You are together and at the same time apart. It would seem that there is no more than a meter between you, but in fact there is an abyss between you.
- Inner voice. Our intuition reacts quickly when something is wrong in a relationship. We are accustomed to listening to the voice of reason, but sometimes it does not hurt to listen to the voice of the heart, which is very sensitive to those moments to which the mind does not react.
- Someone else’s problems. Many women stay in relationships because they are used to putting other people’s needs ahead of theirs. They are used to caring for someone and do not notice that no one cares about them.
- Distance. Each couple goes through crisis moments. But if the crisis has dragged on and there are no improvements, then it is better to seek help from a specialist. And you need to do this as early as possible, while the relationship can still be saved.
- You can imagine what your life would be like without your husband. If a woman often begins to draw pictures in her head of how she will live happily without her soul mate, this is a wake-up call. In this way, detachment occurs so that the breakdown occurs less painfully.
- You have ceased to conflict. There are no more quarrels in your family life, and not at all because you have become very close and problem situations have been resolved. You just no longer want to discuss problems, listen to your partner’s opinion and change something.
- It seems to you that your husband no longer hears you. Yes, and you do not have a particular desire to listen to him. Ask the chosen one how you upset him. Listen to him and try to understand his feelings.
- Emotional infidelity. If a woman does not feel happiness next to her chosen one, emotional betrayal often happens – interest or love for another member of the opposite sex. If the relationship is on the brink, do not give in to the temptation and romance with other men.
- You started spending a lot of time with your girlfriends. When a woman needs to speak out or share something, she usually goes to the closest and dearest person. Is your husband not the one you ask for help and advice in the first place? Needless to say, this is a wake-up call?
- Divorce cannot be tolerated. Is it possible to save a family and is there a need for it? In fact, there are no problems that cannot be solved, but if your chosen one does not want to invest in maintaining the relationship, there is nothing to be done about it.
Stop loving or just tired?
It is very difficult to understand whether love is forever gone. Often, the spouse just gets tired of everyday problems, raising children, and work. There is no time left for yourself and your beloved. But this does not mean at all that love is gone forever, just the relationship needs a reboot, and it is possible to return love to the relationship.
But if you see one or more of the following signs, there is a serious reason to think:
- The wife no longer wants to take care of her life partner, surprise him with culinary delights, or reckon with him when choosing a movie or a vacation option.
- Indifference to the activities of the second half. The woman is not interested in whether the faithful dined, if he put on clean clothes, how he got to work. The same can be said for his work, hobbies, goals and aspirations.
- The wife does not look after herself for the sake of her husband. Now she is not interested in what he has to say about her appearance, hairstyle or lack of makeup. She no longer has the desire to please him.
- The desire to spend more time outside the home. The fair sex is increasingly delayed at work, visits her friends or leaves for her parents.
- Thoughts about adultery. A woman eagerly flirts with other men and admits the thought of being in bed with one of the gentlemen.
If a woman noticed several of these signs in herself, then she needs to admit that there is no more love in the relationship.
What to do if feelings for your husband have disappeared?
In this situation, psychologists offer only two options for the development of events:
- Stay and try to revive the faded feelings.
- Get divorced.
What decision a woman will make depends on the specific situation. This can be influenced by many factors, including marital history, having children, and other disincentives. When you are not sure, you need to heed the advice of psychologists:
- Change your surroundings – go on vacation to the seaside or a country you have long wanted to visit, relax in nature or buy a ticket to a sanatorium. Spending time together in an unfamiliar environment will give feelings another chance.
- Develop. Find a new hobby or work on your new look.
- Live separately. The absence of a spouse nearby will make it possible to understand whether it is good or bad without a faithful. And this applies not only to the financial issue, but also to the upbringing of children.
How to keep your marriage alive and love again
If, after weighing all the pros and cons, you decide to save the relationship, first of all analyze the behavior of your man. If you see that he loves you, then it will be easier to keep the family together. But here it is important to act together, otherwise nothing will come of it.
Talk frankly with your partner and take stock of your life together:
- write what you managed to achieve together and what goals you have for the future;
- resolve all issues together;
- list all the pros and cons of each other;
- exchange notes and analyze what has been written;
- listen to each other during a conversation;
- pay more attention to your spouse;
- trust and be sincere;
- spend more free time together.
In addition, it does not hurt to go with the chosen one to an appointment with a psychologist. The family analyst will help you find the root of the problem and suggest ways to solve it.