Why are modern relations so fragile?

telwoman | April 21, 2021 | relations

The key to an ideal relationship is love, mutual respect and a mutual desire to be together. But for such an idyll it is necessary to report certain efforts. After all, any successful union is, first of all, painstaking work on yourself, as well as the desire to understand your partner, to make your common life harmonious and lasting.

At the same time, one should not forget that all people are different both in character and in their expectations from the relationship. The assessment of the union itself also differs:

for conservatives, the main thing is to prove to society that everything is fine with you in a pair. For them, the opinion of others is important, and the model of ideal relationships is strictly scheduled in time – for meetings, creating a family, having children, etc.;
egocentrics are looking for their soul mate in a relationship, more seeking to satisfy their needs and desires, and trying to fill the spiritual emptiness;
nihilists generally deny any connection, seeing in them only dependence and their own destruction.

In any case, today relationships are also usually compared with conservative marriages, which were created once and for life. True, history is silent at the same time how much happiness there was in these couples, who, in order to please society, were forced to stay together, despite strong disagreements and lack of feelings. Modern marriages and relationships between lovers are freer and less durable and lasting from this. Lack of responsibility and unwillingness to work constantly on your union leads to quick breaks and a change of partners. Only this option does not bring the long-awaited happiness.

What to expect from a couple’s relationship

Now let’s figure out what common goals partners pursue when entering into a relationship:

live together, overcoming all life obstacles;
rejoice together in success and achievements, realizing that support in moments of success and happiness means no less than help in difficulties;
to gain confidence in a reliable and strong shoulder at the right moment, understanding and support in all matters;
to find the meaning of life, having someone to take care of and giving the chosen one with your positive emotions;
find a friend and advisor for life, in whose loyalty and loyalty there will be no need to doubt;
create a strong family, give birth and raise children together;
to be with a person with whom old age will be a joy.

These are all generalized goals. But, since people are different, their expectations from relationships and marriage may differ in many ways. And above all, such differences are very noticeable between the views on union in women and men.

What is important in a relationship for men

The psychology of men in relationships is reduced to the following basic postulates:

sex and attraction to the other half are of great importance. By the way, constant sexual relations are also considered a confirmation of the seriousness of the man’s intentions and the possible end of history by the legal registration of the union;
but all the guys are somewhat wary of marriage, first of all, seeing in it a threat to their own freedom. In addition, realizing all the responsibility that will fall on their shoulders in the new family, they postpone this inevitable decision as far as possible;
freedom remains the main value in marriage for men. True, some understand this as an opportunity to develop, to do what they love, while others, for some reason, are literally looking for evidence of freedom in other relationships.

At the same time, each man has his own expectations in relation to a woman in a pair:

she must be smart and beautiful;
be able to cook and create coziness in the house, as well as an atmosphere of comfort and warmth;
be faithful and honest;
be open in relationships, but at the same time remain a mystery to your chosen one, constantly pushing him to active actions;
be successful and have your own passions;
be a great mom;
to remain his reliable rear in any matters;
always give your love, support, not forgetting the importance of physical intimacy.

There are a lot of criteria that every man will hurry up to continue with his own requirements and wishes.

What a girl is looking for in a relationship

The woman, of course, is not far behind the chosen one in terms of the number of her claims in the relationship. Her partner must be:

handsome and courageous, strong and brave;
reliable and able to take on the solution of all family problems;
attentive and caring, anticipating her desires;
successful and earning enough money to support a couple;
loyal and faithful, honest in relationships.

As you can see, in order to meet the ideals, each of the couple will have to work hard first of all on themselves, in order to meet the desires and dreams of the chosen one, and find happiness in a couple. Such a guarantee of a strong and lasting relationship.

What makes the perfect union

The secret of a perfect relationship:

first love yourself and then give love to your chosen one;
give more and then you can expect reciprocal attention and care;
show more care, take some of the responsibility on yourself;
do not frighten with a sense of ownership, fettering your partner with your suspicions and jealousy;
be responsible for your words and control your emotions so that you do not later regret what you said in a fit of anger;
be generous with compliments and affectionate words;
build an attitude of respect and love;
always find an opportunity to be alone, discuss all issues together and mutually make the necessary decisions;
know how to listen and hear your partner;
sleeping together will give you the warmth and closeness you need.

What are the reasons for a failed relationship

The reasons for disagreements in relationships and their fragility can be found in the following factors:

overestimated requirements for the chosen one;
unsuccessful example of parental marriage;
taking on the role of a man in a relationship;
excessive idealization of a partner;
wrong choice of the second half.

You should not expect strength and harmony in a relationship where young people mistakenly mistook falling in love for love and rushed to get married without getting to know each other well. It is also foolish to hope that many years of happiness await you if you decide to connect your fate with a womanizer, gigolo, tyrant, narcissist or alcoholic. Leave such people immediately, giving them the opportunity to fight their demons on their own. And go yourself in search of your soul mate, with whom you can become happy.