Why do spouses communicate little and what to do about it?
Looking for ways to fix a lack of communication in a relationship? In fact, this is a fairly common problem. After all, there are many misunderstandings between men and women. And with an excess of normal communication, this leads to quarrels and partings. Many couples simply do not agree, and do not understand how to reach agreement and understanding. Although there are many factors that contribute to the successful development of a relationship. But, as a rule, it all comes down to effective communication.
How to identify a lack of communication in a relationship
Let’s be honest and admit that many men and women lack communication skills. And from my own experience I can say. That a long and happy relationship can only be built if both partners are willing to change and work to improve the relationship. After all, it is impossible to ignore problems and is next to a partner who is not receptive to your methods and models of communication. Such an alliance is simply doomed to failure. And to avoid this, problems should be identified in advance and the lack of communication in the relationship should be corrected. Below you will find a list of the first signs that indicate a problem of understanding:
- You cannot sit down and talk to each other calmly;
- You cannot have a heated discussion without resorting to shouting and quarreling;
- You have no common topics of conversation;
- You don’t feel the need to share your thoughts and feelings;
- You avoid talking about your relationship problems;
- Your interests and life priorities become very different.
If you have identified any of these signs in your relationship, you should make every effort to correct them and get closer to each other. Although, as a rule, many men and women find it difficult to admit that they are in troubled relationships.
How to improve communication skills
First, learn to listen, and never discount your partner’s opinions and feelings. When talking to him, try to repeat the important points that the person is talking about. This is called reflection. In this case, the partner will see that you actually hear and listen to him. And he will become more open in conversation.
If you are really interested to communicate better with your partner. Learn to listen and be more attentive to his feelings. Because I often began to notice. That people in long-term relationships do not take into account the wishes of their partners. And if you stop showing appreciation and respect for your loved one, then this will lead to resentment and problems. A lack of communication in a relationship will only complicate this situation. That is why we have prepared for you some tips on how you can become an attentive listener:
- Try not to interrupt your partner. If you want to say something, wait until he speaks;
- Try to get rid of any thoughts that keep you from focusing on the conversation;
- Show a genuine interest in the topic you are discussing;
- When giving feedback, don’t be too judgmental;
- Never get into fights. Learn to compromise and find a mutual solution to the problem.
A healthy relationship must be open and honest. Without this, it will be difficult to build a happy life with a partner. If you feel the need to hide something, this is a bad sign. Small deceptions will inevitably lead to much larger ones, and do significant harm to your union. After all, relationships built on the basis of misconceptions and misunderstandings will not last long. No matter how much effort you put into them.
Sense of humor in relationships
Another quality of happy couples is the ability to be surprised at familiar things. Including laughing at each other and at ourselves. Because happiness in a relationship goes hand in hand with the fun and laughter that pervades almost every aspect of a relationship. Many psychotherapists agree that if a man and a woman stop laughing together, then this leads to an inevitable separation. And it’s not hard to guess why this is happening. Indeed, there are so many problems and worries in our life. And if you stop showing your sense of humor and filling your life with fun. It will be very difficult for you to build a harmonious relationship with your partner. Here are some signs that you have a problem in this area:
- When you watch a movie or TV show, you laugh at different times. For some reason, I personally feel very uncomfortable when a person laughs hysterically at something that, in my opinion, was just stupid;
- If any of you are subject to comic control, that is, you are simply forbidden to laugh. And as mentioned above, if partners cannot laugh at each other, then this will inevitably lead to a deterioration in the relationship;
- If you’re trying to make a joke and your partner says it’s not funny or even inappropriate.
But even if you know for sure that you both have a different sense of humor, don’t worry, this is not the end. Try to be more approving of your partner’s jokes. And even in some cases, play along and show condescension.
Mutual respect in a relationship
Lack of communication in a relationship can lead to a loss of mutual respect. And if there is no respect and approval between you, then this is a clear sign of incompatibility, which leads to a break in relations. And although I don’t like to sound pessimistic, it really is. After all, if you do not feel respect from your partner and do not feel joy being next to him, then what is the point in such a relationship? You must treat your partner as a mature person. I’ve seen many relationships fail. Because people make their own decisions without consulting a partner.
So if you make any decision, be sure to discuss it with your loved one. After all, a lack of communication in a relationship always starts with an understatement. For example, you go to a restaurant for dinner, then together decide where you will spend this evening. Do you want to go to the theater or cinema? First ask your partner’s opinion, and then express yours. Respect really has a huge impact on the development of a relationship. Therefore, be sure to work on your communication and respect for each other.