There are many reasons why a person feels lonely, and almost everyone goes through it. Loneliness is a certain stage in a person’s life, and absolutely everyone can overcome it. In my case, I live abroad, away from my friends and family. I speak the local language poorly, which makes it difficult to interact with people. Sometimes I feel lonely because I miss home, and I know many other people who are in a similar situation and experience bouts of loneliness from time to time.
Some people find it really difficult to deal with loneliness. Such a state can lead to depression, despondency and melancholy, but there are those for whom loneliness is fleeting and can be overcome by correct thinking and certain changes in lifestyle.
Why does a person feel lonely?
1. You’ve lost someone
One of the most common reasons a person feels lonely is when we lose someone. These are really difficult moments in life. When you lose someone (family member, spouse, friend, or pet), you usually feel so lonely that you just don’t want anything. The loss of someone can mean the death of a loved one, a break in a relationship, a break in communication with a friend.
This type of loneliness is really hard to overcome and most often leads to depression. Because you are used to seeing this person smiling, greeting you, laughing together and remembering the good times you had with this person (or with your pet). And now that he is gone, you have no idea how to continue living.
2. Solitude – this is why a person feels lonely
When you move away from people, you feel that no one is needed. This feeling negatively affects our self-esteem and can lead to fear of loneliness. This often happens to young people these days. They are so attached to their phones, computers and social networks that they are not interested in talking to each other in real life. Such people, when talking to a person live, feel uncomfortable. Therefore, they are less and less willing to communicate with someone, and as a result, they constantly feel lonely.
When you move away from people, you realize that there is no one to talk to, and you begin to think that your life is becoming uninteresting. While the people around you live a full life, and you do not want to disturb them. As a result, you are afraid that when you begin to open up to them, they will not have time to listen to you.
3. Lack of personal satisfaction
This has happened to me several times. I felt like I wasn’t doing well enough on whatever assignment I took on. I don’t realize my plans and I don’t achieve my goals. Then I felt that I was not developing as a person. I was constantly upset, angry with myself, and therefore I was also lonely. Now I know that many people are experiencing the same. I guess social media is to some extent to blame for this. Many people compare their lives to others who are more successful. And whenever they see that their acquaintance buys a new car for himself, or is resting in beautiful places, they understand that they cannot afford it now, so they feel unfulfilled and disappointed.
When a person is unable to find satisfaction in the things that he already has, and when he thinks badly of himself, he begins to question his value as a person. He begins to hate himself and not appreciate what he has. And this is another reason why a person feels lonely and not happy.
When you leave your family for work abroad or for any other reason, it’s normal to be homesick. You miss that environment, customs, language, food, and many other things. I also miss home sometimes, but thanks to the internet, I can communicate with my family and friends at any time. I also try to cook homemade food, which I miss here. It’s also hard for me to get used to cold and cloudy weather. But what is even more difficult for me is the language. I don’t speak English well yet, so I’m limited in what I can do. It puts me in an awkward position when I do not understand what they are saying to me, and it also often makes me lonely. Although I have been studying the language for more than a month. But for now, I just have to admit that my options are limited.
How to get rid of loneliness
1. Find communities of your interest
In the event that you have moved to a new city, it will help you a lot if you join organizations or groups that share your interests. After all, adapting to your new environment will be much easier if you do it with people who can share their knowledge and give good advice on how you can better adapt. If you love sports, join a sports club, if you love animals, you can volunteer at the shelter. As you start to socialize more and meet new people, you will have little time to think about the things that make you homesick.
2. Explore your area
Being new to a new place is actually very interesting. This gives you a lot of opportunities to explore. Start visiting various famous places in this city, local markets, shops where you can find food, museums, parks or sports facilities. You can also find some restaurant or bar that you will visit with your friends in the future.
3. Communicate more
When people ask me why a person feels lonely, the first thing I answer is that he lacks communication. To have a lot of friends, you need to be a sociable person. A simple greeting or a sincere smile can go a long way. There is a lot of information on how to properly communicate with people and start a conversation. Therefore, use social networks to find people with whom you can start chatting online, and then meet live. In the event that you are too shy, then keep in touch with loved ones. It helps to ease loneliness, gain inspiration and strength.
4. Surround yourself with positive people
If you are feeling lonely, then find people who will take care of you and will be able to listen to you at any time. Surrounding yourself with such people, you will begin to see the positive in any situation. Even if the situation doesn’t look promising. Positive people cheer up and inspire. If there are negative people around, their energy will start to annoy you. Loneliness is contagious, so avoid people with negative attitudes when you feel lonely.
5. Learn to value yourself
As the saying goes, “you cannot be lonely if you are happy with yourself.” This means that a person can love himself, even if he is alone. And if you are not happy with yourself, then it will not be easy to perceive everything that you see around. You have to accept yourself as you are. Appreciate your friends, family, and your life in general. When you know that your social circle loves and cares for you, you feel joy and happiness.
6. Don’t get hung up on false reality
It can also be a common reason why a person feels lonely. The internet and social media can be useful if you use them to connect with people who are important to you. On the other hand, they can take you away from the people around you. Learn to leave your phone behind and prioritize in real life. Don’t believe everything you see, read, or hear on social media. The fact that someone looks happy and successful does not mean that they really are, and some accounts are completely fictitious. Always remind yourself that you don’t need to publish everything that happens in your life. Focus more on real life as that is what affects you best.