Many men don’t really want to start a full-fledged family. Therefore, women often do not know what to do when they understand that the husband does not want to have a child. This is due to the fact that men do not realize how wonderful it is to have children and they are not ready to devote themselves to this. When they were born, their fathers were not involved in upbringing, but most of the time they worked or were busy with other things.
Society has its own norms and they are imposed on us from birth. The adult generation was brought up differently, they understand that a person needs a full-fledged marriage, and without children, there simply will be no future. But at the same time, it would not be a good idea to force a man to have a child if he does not want it now. This is a huge responsibility, you need to approach this issue seriously and after careful consideration of all the nuances.
For any woman, this is a big problem when the husband does not want to have a child. But it often happens that a man is not yet able to take on such responsibility. He may feel insecure and reluctant to talk about his true feelings and fears. And pressure on him will only aggravate the situation.
He is too young
Perhaps your man is not yet ripe for such a serious step, or you are too young a couple. In this case, do not rush, wait a little. If you have problems and you are worried about not being able to have children, then calmly explain it. Men can have children at an older age, so their biological clock does not tick as quickly. Remind him that the older you get, the harder it is to get pregnant.
He has been for many years
If your man is 50-60 years old and does not want to have children, because he is afraid that he will be mistaken for a grandfather, or for other reasons, then explain the benefits of a more mature parent. Tell them that the children do not care how old their father is, the main thing is that he loves and appreciates them. He doesn’t have to be 25 years old to have fun with children and raise them. In addition, adult men have more life experience and they have a store of knowledge that they can share with their child. So older dads are often wiser and more patient with their children, which is much more important than the ability to run a marathon.
The influence of his friends
Young dads love to scare their mates with scary stories about children. Sleepless nights, endless tears and lack of sex are real enough, but they don’t last forever. However, he should not believe their every word. Tell him to let his friends bring some pictures of them playing with the children. Photos that show a dad with a son or daughter are often cute enough to make your husband think.
Your husband is not ready yet
Maybe your husband doesn’t want to have a baby because he’s just not ready yet. He is well aware that this is a serious decision and may want to better prepare himself for this. Explain to him that you understand everything and do not want to rush, but you need some kind of time frame. Otherwise, you will think that he does not want to build a long-term relationship with you. You can’t force him to have a baby, but when you’ve expressed your opinion, promise to stop talking about babies within a couple of months. In return, he should promise to sit down with you and seriously talk about it. Perhaps he has a responsible position and has to spend a lot of time at work. Therefore, he understands that now he will not be able to devote proper time to the child.
He is happy with you and does not want to change anything.
Say that you love him and are grateful for this relationship, but having a child will make you even happier and bring you both great joy. But try to hear his point of view too. After all, having children will completely change your life, and these changes will not be easy at first. He may think that you will be too preoccupied with the child and your relationship will become less happy. In this case, explain that although the child will take longer, it will not stop you from loving your husband. Assure him that love will not dry out and that it will be enough for both of them.
He is afraid that he will not be able to provide you financially.
Yes, you will have to spend a lot of money on a child and this is a fair point of view. Tell them that you also thought about this and would like to discuss your financial budget. Then sit down and carefully explain how you think you could handle without getting into debt. If he sees that you are serious about practical issues, he will also take it more seriously.
He already has children
This is really not an easy case. If he has children and says openly that he no longer wants to, then there is little that can be done. You can explain how much you would like to have a child, but you shouldn’t have high hopes that he will change his mind. Instead, focus on what you already have. His children cannot fully become yours, but you can play an important role in their life. And trying to have a baby can seriously affect your relationship. You should think carefully about this. Try to find a compromise that doesn’t make one of you unhappy.
What to do if the husband does not want to have a child
Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but they must respect your dreams and desires. You must be honest and sincere with him. Do not hide your feelings and explain that having a common child is really important. After all, you love this person and want to have a full-fledged family with him. If you cannot accept his decision and see yourself as happy without children, then you will have to think about where your relationship will go. Ignoring this situation can lead to feelings of bitterness and resentment when it is too late to return to the issue. So you should devote enough time to this problem and perhaps seek professional help to find the right way out of this situation.