I think that many have experienced prolonged abstinence from sexual intercourse in their lives. But, unfortunately, not everyone knows the dangers of giving up sex. First, it negatively affects a person’s self-esteem and attitude towards you. Secondly, he will have a fear of refusals and a very high probability that the desire to build further relationships with you will disappear.
Yes, we can have many good reasons why we don’t want to have sex. And this physical act can be both a problem in a relationship and a good way to strengthen feelings between partners. But let’s still figure out the dangers of giving up sex and how you can solve this problem.
Is refusing sex a sign of emotional abuse?
Many men and women know the dangers of refusing to have sex, and consider having regular sex life the main force in a relationship. But, unfortunately, there are girls who manipulate their partners with the help of sex. This often manifests itself in the early stages of a relationship, when girls are too demanding of their men. And also in family life, when a woman refuses to have sex, arguing that she is feeling unwell and has a headache.
Sexual abstinence can be caused by fatigue, problems at work, or other life situations that prevent us from concentrating on our partner. Many women are not ready to have sex during their menstrual period or have other problems that can make penetration painful or even impossible. Sexually transmitted diseases can cause a person to avoid sexual intercourse until doctors confirm their absence. So many people want to create an environment conducive to a healthy sex life.
In men, abstinence from sex can cause anxiety, nervousness and aggression. If for some reason you cannot cope with this problem yourself, then you better turn to a specialist. I also want to note that oral sex and manual pleasure can be a solution to this problem for a while.
Refusing sex can be unintentional
There are people who know the dangers of refusing to have sex and yet avoid intimate relationships. But they do it unintentionally. Often people find themselves in certain life situations, because of which they cannot devote enough time to their intimate life. They can also be individuals with mental problems who are under stress or depression. Shyness and lack of social activity can also be a problem of sexual abstinence. But still, in most cases, the lack of sexuality is associated with our insecurity and low self-esteem.
If your partner refuses sex for many days, doesn’t want to talk about the problem, or see a doctor, then there is a high probability that he is doing it on purpose to hurt you or to ruin the relationship.
Sex and self-control
People have an innate need to feel that they have control over themselves and their environment. It makes them feel calm and helps them feel more confident. When this control is extended to other people, it can hurt them, cause resentment and anger. In some cases, the abuser finds himself in a situation where he does not get enough influence over his partner. Then they have quarrels and, as a result, a break in relations.
It so happens in our life that there is no healthy relationship between a man and a woman. They may feel angry or hurt, but they will try to hide it and create the illusion of a happy couple. But when it comes to the bedroom, their negative attitude towards each other affects their sex life. So try to solve the problems that have arisen between you at an early stage, so that this does not lead to deeper consequences.
How to get your intimate life back
In most cases, we consider unfair treatment to be the reason for not having sex. Because of this, we feel resentment and cannot return to normal relationships. To restore sex life, try to apply the following guidelines:
- Recognize the need for your partner, respect him and be grateful;
- Communicate more with your partner about topics that concern you. Both in your relationship and in your personal life;
- When he talks about his feelings or concerns, listen carefully and support. If you disagree with his point of view, you do not need to react aggressively. Say that you understand him, but you have your own opinion on this matter;
- If you don’t agree, find a joint solution to the problem. But in any case, do not turn the conversation into a negative direction;
- If your partner has health problems, support him and be the first to take the initiative to see a doctor.
You should also remember about some specific “prohibitions”:
- Don’t allow yourself to be treated unfairly;
- Don’t try to use sex as a means of manipulation;
- You don’t need to endure for a long time You can survive a few days without sex. But continued rejection will negatively affect you and your self-esteem. Set reasonable deadlines and try to stick to them;
- There is no need to get angry and “withdraw into yourself”. Better to have an open dialogue and find out the real reason;
- Don’t criticize or blame your loved one;
Many low-sex couples have learned to cope with lack of intimacy because they value other qualities of their partner. Give it a try, and it might work in your relationship as well. But still, try to show your partner the dangers of giving up sex. Be the first to take the initiative in solving this problem. Communicate more with him, ask about his feelings, and show interest and respect for your loved one.