Why is there a sense of loneliness in relationships?
Many men and women sooner or later feel lonely in a relationship. Although in the beginning, the couple may be doing just as well as possible. But over time, you become not interested in your partner, and you do not understand what happened. Are you starting to wonder what happened to that funny man or woman? After all, everything that your partner does now does not suit you, or you perceive it as pity and criticism.
You may have even begun to dream about breaking up with this person. And start enjoying your own life, where you will do what you want. But do not rush to leave until you read this article.
There are at least eight common reasons why you feel lonely in a relationship. Plus, several of these reasons may be present at the same time, making it even more difficult to rebuild a relationship. Let’s take a look at a brief description of each of these causes, and effective tools to address them.
1. Struggle for power in relationships
In the beginning, you can both feel contentment and harmony. Your relationship can develop naturally and effortlessly. You may like everything about your partner, just like he / she. But over time, you start to notice that one of you is starting to “pull the blanket over yourself.” He or she wants more attention, love and affection. However, he / she does not give anything in return. The partner may complain and be offended that he is not accepted for who he is. And he wants to get more out of this relationship. As a result, you give all / all of yourself to this person, but you get nothing in return. Consequently, you get bored and not interested in being around this person.
Although power struggles in relationships are a common stage in relationships, compatible couples can overcome similar difficulties. But incompatible ones can’t. Therefore, if you have problems with prolonged silence and understatement, then this may be the reason why feelings of loneliness arise in a relationship. After all, a person cannot guess what you want at this or that moment. And relationship problems won’t resolve on their own. Therefore, you need to communicate with each other as much as possible. And express your desires and needs in an understandable language.
3. Lack of physical intimacy
Almost always, the lack of physical intimacy is the reason why there is a feeling of loneliness in a relationship. Regardless of how rarely you see each other, or your relationship may take place at a distance, you will in any case face the problem of loneliness without physical intimacy.
Plus, when you meet live after a long break, you may not be ready to build a real relationship. You may have various doubts about this relationship that have not previously arisen. And if your relationship runs at a distance, then you will constantly wonder if my partner cheated on me during this period?
4. Mistrust in a partner
Infidelity is a deep betrayal that “leaves scars on a person’s heart” for a long time. While some couples can recover from infidelity, most unions fall apart. The best relationships are built on trust and loyalty to your partner. They have a deep sense of friendship and respect. Suspicion and mistrust naturally lead to loneliness in a relationship.
5. Excessive workload and constant employment
Daily work, children, lack of money and rest can naturally drain a person. After we subtract 8 hours for work, another 8 hours for sleep and an hour for other things. For example, we drive to and from work, take a shower, and so on. As a result, we have seven hours a day.
Seven hours a day seems like that much. But think of the many additional tasks that each of us does on a regular basis. We pay the bills, clean the house, take care of the children, look after our parents, and we want to spend at least a little time on ourselves and our hobby. And then think how much time we have left for a loved one? To go to a restaurant together, go to the cinema, or go on a romantic trip for a few days. It practically does not exist. As a result, people feel lonely in a relationship and love will disappear.
6. Addiction and bad habits
If at least one partner in a relationship has some kind of addiction, then their life becomes chaotic and hectic. And good times in a relationship give way to bad ones. Often, people are ashamed to talk about their problems honestly and openly with other family members or friends. Because they are afraid of criticism and feel ashamed. They feel pressured by others and are unable to maintain an acceptable lifestyle. Consequently, this leads to isolation, shyness and a lonely life.
7. Unbalanced personal growth
Sometimes partners don’t pay enough attention to growing together. Every day we try to be better and take care of ourselves. But we do not pay attention to the people around us. In addition, over time, our values, beliefs and personal interests may change due to various events. And if we don’t pay attention to the little things in our partner’s daily life, we risk losing touch with him. In other words, if we do not grow together, we will grow and exist separately from each other.
8. Poor communication skills
Many psychologists and psychotherapists constantly talk about communication skills in relationships. Although many people think this is not important, and they do not devote enough time to it. But I am sure that the way we express ourselves, our sympathy and admiration for a partner, can both bring him / her closer to us, and repel. Couples with so-called poor communication skills have a big problem – they lack empathy and support in relationships. They are not protecting their partner. They prioritize their own short-term needs. But just not wanting to hear the needs of a loved one. As a result, it makes one or both parties feel frustrated and lonely in the relationship.